as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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