She said her name was "party"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
