This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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