I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
