I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
