You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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