Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
