I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
