Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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