I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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