You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
