We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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