come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
