Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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