dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
