rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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