Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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