Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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