No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
