I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
