i jhust puked up my retainher.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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