I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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