the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
True strength comes from lack of pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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