Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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