I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
