How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
