just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
