Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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