Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
