I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
