yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
