she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
