Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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