Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
