Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
