Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
