College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
