Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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