Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
