My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
