i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
