lets start a swedish sibling band together
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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