I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
