its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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