Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
