Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
