I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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