You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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