absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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