Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
