If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
PANTIES FOUND
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