Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
