I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
